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Democrats win Mike Pence's hometown

September 2, 2012

First, the liberal version.

The GOP is a party of homophobic bigots because their convention summarily ignored homosexuals [source].

Now, the Kenn version.

The GOP is party of Francokentuckiophobic bigots because their convention summarily ignored French Kentuckians.

Need I elaborate?

Also ignored by the convening Republicans were lefties; not political leftists, but people who are left handed. That accounts for about 20 percent of the population (compared to 2 percent who are gay.)

The Republican bigots also blatantly ignored vegetarians and their vegan cousins. No mention was made of folks with blue eyes, red heads, or those who are height challenged -- in either direction.

Americans with hexadactyly (six fingers) were also ignored as were albinos. Not much was said about chubby folks (and there are far more of us than gays . . . AND WE VOTE!) nor did the Grand Old Party find it necessary to pander to people with Mensa level intellects.

As president of the National Association for the Advancement of People Who Can't Spell (NAACR), I was grossly offended by being snubbed from the Tampa podium. (I'm also a member of the National Association of People Who Can't Swim. We are equally offended.)

Old hippies, farmers named Herman, and glass eaters were likewise blacklisted by the Republican bigots. One has to wonder how any state ever became red.

I also noted the GOP ignored professional strippers. That, I suppose, is understood. Why would politicians care to cater to auto body repairmen?

Tone-deaf teenagers, a group known for being bullied by school band members, shurely deserved to be noticed. What do you expect? I told you I can't spell.

There was also a dearth of dedicated compassion expressed for native Hawaiians.

The summation, then, is that the Republican Party is hopelessly bigoted. The Democrats will do much better, I'm shure.

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