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Democrats win Mike Pence's hometown

August 24, 2012

by DailyKenn.com

The year is 1962. 

A hush falls over the crowd as Peter the Prophet rises to speaks.

"In fifty years the nation will be $16 trillion in debt."
Eyebrows raise. Immediately the crowd senses this prophet may be bogus. Nonetheless they politely listen as he lists nine additional predictions that, he says, will occur in America by the year 2012. 
"Homosexual marriage will be legalized in several states."
Expressions of disgust grace the faces of nearly everyone in the crowd.
"Homosexual marriage will be endorsed by the President of the United States."
The expressions begin to turn to smirks. I this a joke? some wonder.
"Millions of illegal aliens from Mexico and Central and South America will be granted amnesty to increase the ranks of the Democratic Party."
Subdued chuckles are heard in the assembly hall. How absurd. How could millions of brown people sneak across the border without detection?
"Non-white new births will exceed white new births."
Eyes roll in disbelief. America's population is overwhelmingly white. 
The prophet pauses for a moment, as if to gather his thoughts. 
"Christian speech will be banned from public schools including the Lord's Prayer, posting the Ten Commandments, and making reference to the God during commencement speeches. The display of crosses, The Ten Commandments, manger scenes and other Christian displays will be removed from public property as a violation of the Constitution's First Amendment."
The crowd is no longer amused. They are now offended. Cat calls are heard. Some actually boo aloud. 
"Congress will pass legislation implementing socialized medicine."
"The socialized medicine program will force Americans to purchase health insurance via taxation."
"Islam will have begun to colonize the West, including America, after they commandeer airliners and crash them into tall buildings, killing thousands. Americans will welcome them with open hearts, minds, and arms." 
Again, the crowd is subdued and somber.  
"And, finally, Americans will elect an inept and inexperienced president with dubious education credentials simply because he is black."
Suddenly they realize that, in fact, the prophet is hoax. It's an elaborate joke; a bit of heavy but humorous satire. They burst into laughter and applause. 
How silly they were to have taken the prophet seriously. 

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