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April 20, 2014

Chicago Police Supt. Garry McCarthy announced Sunday that police will begin patrolling the nation's largest urban jungle on bicycles.

These are areas in which feral natives find sport in hiding in the shadows, awaiting some gullible white guy on a bicycle to peddle by. They then bolt from their hiding -- as if to materialize out of nowhere -- and assault the passing biker. Within minutes, if not seconds, the unsuspecting victim is left bloodied, beaten, and often with broken bones and life-time injuries.

The description of the attackers? Teens in hoodies with dark skin and black, kinky hair.

"If you recognize anyone of that description, please call police."

The notion that McCarthy can somehow subdue DNA with cops on bikes would be laughable were violent crime in the 'hood not so serious.


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